Rasmein in Desi Wedding

Some Rasmein which are not in Islam are the part of desi Pakistani wedding. Pakistanis are still following majority of Indian Rasmein because, we used to live together. Therefore, our wedding customs are almost similar except Nikah. Groom must have a lot of cash in his pocket on the wedding day because, sisters-in-law takes a lot of money from him. These rasms are very exciting, interesting and enjoyable for everyone. Mostly, youngsters of family take part in rasms.

List of Interesting Desi Rasmein:

Sehra Bandi

Sehra Bandi takes place at Dulha’s house by his family and guests. In this rasam, the groom’s head is covered up by Sehra before leaving for Barat. The guests gives Salami at Sehra Bandi to the groom and his Sarbala (Groom’s nephew or any small child of his family).

Surma Lagwai

In this Rasam, The Sisters-in-law (BHABHI) of groom Apply Surma in the eyes of groom and receive cash as a gift.

Rasta Rukai

When groom with his family arrives to take his bride, then his sister-in-law (Bride’s Sister) along with her cousins stop the groom with a long dupata to enter hall. Then, they take money and allow him to enter.

Istaqbal of Barat

After the Rasam of Rasta Rukai, the rose petals are showered on groom and all the Baratis by the bride’s family. Groom’s close relatives also receive garlands from bride’s family.

Joota Chupai

On the day of Barat, Bride’s sister and her friends hide the shoes of groom. On the other hand, groom’s sister/brother and other friends tries to keep an eye on his shoes so that, bride’s family will not get his shoes.

But when bride’s family gets the shoes, they receive money from the groom and give his shoes back.

Doodh Pilayi

It is the most awaited Rasam in every desi wedding, when bride and groom sit together, the bride’s sister, friends and cousins comes with a beautifully decorated glass full of Rabri Milk for groom. They ask for the money first. When they receive an envelope full of money, then they give milk to the groom and bride.

Salami

All the guests give money or gifts to the new couple. They give an envelope to the bride and groom on barat and walima when they are sitting at the stage. Sometimes, for convenience, families write the amount of salami given to the couple.

Rukhsati

Rukhsati is the most emotional rasam in the whole wedding because bride is leaving her family for the groom. Everyone from bride’s family feels sad at this moment.

Ruskhsati involves two more Rasams:

1. Holding the Holy Quran

Bride’s brother holds the Holy Quran on bride’s head during Rukhsati.

2. Throwing Rice

During rukhsati the bride throws rice on the back and cry.

Recieting Holy Quran

It is one of the Rasam that bride reciets the verses of Holy Quran after her barat. 

Kheer Chatai

It is the rasam which held after rukshati in which bride and groom sit face to face. Kheer is put in a plate or bride’s hand and, groom has to eat it but bride’s hands are not free.

Kheer Pakai

The bride is not allowed to cook after her wedding. But when she wants to start cooking, she makes kheer (Dessert) for her family. Sometimes, she receives money from her father-in-law as a reward of making dessert.

Mooh Dikhayi

On the night of Barat, groom looks at the bride’s face and give her a gift. The gold ring or bracelet is more common as a gift of mooh dikhayi.

The Wedding Nashta

The bride’s family brings breakfast for groom’s family on the next morning of barat. Some people picks up desi breakfast from shop and, some people prepare it at their home. Breakfast includes desi and continental items.

😊💕👫

Types of Guests you can only meet at Desi Pakistani Wedding

There are different types of guests you can only see at desi wedding. Some of them are so annoying but you can’t do anything because you’re THE MIAZBAN. So, you have to bear all their torture. Most importantly, desi wedding is incomplete without a lot of annoying guests. After the wedding, you will only remember those moments and, give a big Thank You to Allah because everything went well and good.

Guests who won’t leave your house even after wedding

In desi wedding, some guests come from different cities and some are from the same city but still they do not leave your house after one week of wedding. Moreover, they come to you place one week before wedding. You have to help them in each and everything along with the burden of wedding arrangements. You can’t do anything because they’re Mehmaan.

Group of Chichoray Boys

Almost in every desi wedding, there is a group of boys who cannot control themselves to watch girls. Some of them are a part of Mehendi dances and, others roam about in the wedding to impress girls.

Energetic Aunties & Uncles

In desi wedding, there are some aunties and uncles who are busy talking with someone but when DJ plays a song, they cannot resist themselves from dancing. Sometimes, the grandmothers/fathers also dance with khala/khalu, chachi/chacha and mami/mamu.

Crazy Foodies

In desi wedding, everyone waits for the line ROTI KHULGYI HAI. When guests hear this line, they run for food. Some sit near the food table. Some divides the duties like “You will bring RICE, You will bring NAN, You will bring bottles, You will bring Tea etc”

Friendly Aged-Uncles

There are always some too much over friendly uncles who roam about near young girls and ladies. They praise ladies and unmarried girls like a pervert. If you see anyone of them-RUN

Guests with ENVELOPES

There are some guests who say that they gave us only 1000 at our function so, don’t give them more than 1000 on their function.

The Rishta Seekers

In every desi wedding, there are always Rishta-seeker aunties who say MASHAALAH for every unmarried girl. Some of them only come at wedding to find a GOOD DOCTOR BAHU who knows how to make GOL ROTI.

Family Disputes

Every desi wedding starts and ends with a family dispute. Mostly, it is caused by Phupho because you have done something not liked by her or without taking her suggestion.

“Jeetay/Jeeti Raho” Aunties & Uncles

In every Pakistani wedding, there are some uncles and aunties who are very sweet and give blessings by saying jeeti raho beta. The most irritating time is when they give blessings by rubbing their hands on your head which ruins your hair style.

The Desperate SINGLES

In every wedding, there are some singles who roam about to find a handsome boy or a beautiful girl but they don’t get success due to the aunties and uncles in the wedding who watch their each and every move.

The Forever Angry Guests

There are always some guests who remain angry at everything. According to them, they were unable to get close table from the stage, or they didn’t get any food item, or they didn’t see the Dulhan etc.

Annoying Tidday

In every desi wedding, there are small kids who cry, run and fights in the hall without any reason. Some of them create problem for videographers and photographers by standing and dancing on stage. Some kids collect money from the floor which is for Band Bajay Walay and Dhol Walay.

The MEESNI but Gorgeous Girls

Some girls with a lot of makeup are present in every desi wedding. They look gorgeous but sit quietly in the hall. They remain silent during every wedding and observe things. After the wedding, they discuss everything with their moms.

The Extremely Dressed up Ladies

There are always some ladies who dressed up and put on makeup extremely. They think that everyone will watch them.

 The Pakistani Photographer

In desi wedding, photographer take couple pictures in the weird poses. Khandan walay calls him after every second and ask him to take their family portraits or solo pictures.

The Pakistani Videographer

In desi wedding, the videographers remain busy making videos of aunties, girls and Dulha Dulhan. They record each and every moment even when everyone is eating.

The VIP guests

In every desi wedding, some guests come from abroad. They are introduced in the whole hall like Canada walay mamu or London wali Khala.

The Desi Gossipers

In ever desi wedding, Desi gossipers are present. They sit at the same table and discuss bride, her makeup, dress, jewelry, mehendi and everything. Moreover, they judge other ladies and unmarried girls present in the wedding. They also judge the couple by giving comments of beautiful/handsome.

They end up saying:

“DONO MADE FOR EACH OTHER HAIN”

👫 😍💕

Pre-Wedding Beauty Tips for Desi Brides-to-be

Wedding is a very important event in every girl’s life. She waits for her big day and, wants to look beautiful than every girl. For this purpose, bride-to-be should follow diet plans, workouts, beauty tips which include hair and skin care tips and desi home remedies.

Some important tips for Brides-to-be are as follows:

Skin-Care:

• For glowing skin, bride-to-be should take 8 to 10 glasses of water per day. She must keep herself hydrated. Moreover, it will help to control your stress level.

• Proper sleep is necessary to look fresh on the wedding functions.

• Homemade face packs, facials and creams are always good for skin because, they are made up of natural and herbal ingredients.

• Do not eat oily foods to avoid pimples and acne.

• Cleansing: It is the necessary tip for brides-to-be. Buy a good cleanser and clean skin at night. It will help in removing dirt from your face and dead skin cells.

• Use Rose water as a natural toner after cleansing.

• Always apply sunscreen before leaving your home in the noon or afternoon. Otherwise, your complexion will become dark before your big day.

• Apply avocado oil on your skin to make it smooth and soft before your wedding.

• Eat plenty of fruits and vegetables to gain health and glowing skin before wedding. You will also get Necessary vitamins and minerals.

• Take supplements (Multi-vitamin Tablets) to improve your skin.

• Apply a good moisturizer twice a day if your skin is dry.

• Use shampoo to clean your make up brushes and beauty blenders after applying makeup otherwise, bacteria will attack your skin.

Hair-Care:

• Drink one glass of milk daily to make your hair thick, strong and shiny because, on almost every function, you have to get your hair done from parlor which will make them dull.

• Apply curd and egg yolks weekly to make your hair shiny and smooth.

• Apply aloe Vera gel for getting naturally straight hair.

• Most importantly, for all the wedding functions, select only those hair styles which are according to your face cut and shape.

Hand & Feet-Care:

• Consider a good beautician who can do best manicure, Pedicure and massage before wedding.

• Apply lotion to make your hand and feet soft.

• Apply lemon juice and rose water on your hands and feet. It will give your glow and remove black spots.

• Select mehendi designs which are in at the time of your wedding.

Eyes-Care:

• Take proper sleep to avoid dark circles at the time of your wedding.

• Do not use mobile phones and laptops for longer period of time because, excess use will make your eyes weak.

• Put cucumbers on your eyes to cool down the muscles.

Body-Care:

• To be in shape, it is necessary to eat less before your wedding.

• Eat healthy food to get healthy body.

• Do not diet too much because you will look weak and fragile on your big day.

• Do walk and jogging to make your body fit before your wedding day.

• Weight lifting and joining gym is not necessary to look fit. Always do exercise for some minutes at your home to stay in your shape.

Desi Remedies:

If you cannot afford expensive facials and treatment then there is no need to worry because, you can easily make face packs, creams and facials at your home by using natural ingredients. Desi Remedies are always best because in olden times, our mothers and grandmothers used natural ingredients to look fresh for their wedding.

Some desi beauty tips for brides-to-be are:

• Mix rice flour and curd and make a paste. Apply it for 10 to 15 minutes for to make your skin glowing.

• Make homemade uptan and apply on your mehendi day.

• Turmeric is very good for skin. Mix it with gram flour and milk to make your skin clear and glowing.

• Use aloe Vera to avoid acne and redness on your skin because it wont look good.

All these tips will help you look more beautiful and attractive than everyone on your big day. Do follow these tips as much as you can because you will be the center of ATTRACTION for everyone🙌

Desi Wedding Preparations Begin!

Arrangements for desi wedding are very difficult. All the preparations need a lot of time. Many checklists are followed to avoid confusion. In a desi Pakistani wedding, anything can be missed out even if it is in the checklist. 

All the preparations begin before one year right after the date fixing ceremony has taken place. The bride’s and groom’s family discuss about the wedding functions. They plan if they are having together or separate Rasm-e-Henna and, Nikkah will be performed on Barat day or any other day. They discuss the number of guests coming from their sides. After the important discussions from both sides, the official preparations begin. 

·      Budget

For a big fat Pakistani wedding, there should be large budget. It is important to make budget whether, it is a small or big wedding. It will help the families to shop and purchase things according to their requirements. Moreover, they will not buy unnecessary things during wedding days if they’re not needed.

After making budget, families create proper checklist for preparations which is mentioned below:

Venue Selection

The most important preparation for the wedding is the selection of venues for all days. Both families have to select venues for Mehendi, Barat and Walima. Families have to visit and arrange meetings with the owners before making final decision. Mostly, Mayun and Dholkis are celebrated in the homes. For Mehendi, Barat and Walima grounds/wedding halls are selected before one year of the actual date.

Event Planners

In most of the desi weddings, event planners are appointed. They design the stage and select the theme for tables and chairs. They decide either the floor will be covered from carpet or anything else. Moreover, they decorate the walls and stage with fresh and colorful flowers. All the wedding decoration is their duty. 

Catering

Food is the main thing in a desi Pakistani wedding that people will remember for a long time. It should be good because, desi people will come at weddings only for food. The best catering service should be selected for this purpose.

Guest List

A proper guest list should be made for inviting guests to be a part of your happiness.

Wedding Invitations

Select design of your choice for an invitation card. Now, order the cards according to your guest list. Extra invitations are required in every wedding so, always order some cards extra. You can send some sweets or chocolates with the cards to your guests. Most importantly, these invitations should be sent two to three months before wedding.

Transportation and Accommodation

Some guests will come from different cities to your house only for the wedding or you have to accommodate some special guests in the hotel. It is important to arrange transport for the guests from home to hall or anywhere else and accommodate them.

Salon Reservations

Before wedding functions, families must reserve salon for the bride and groom. It should be done before three to four months. It is very important because of makeovers, hair styling, party make ups, manicure and pedicure and Henna application. If there is no reservation of the salon then bride will take stress.

Bride/Groom Outfits

The selection of outfits is a very difficult task whether it is a color scheme or style or embroidery. If the bride/groom is purchasing a designer outfit then she/he should arrange meetings with the designer and if she/he is purchasing ready-to-wear dress then she/he must visit all the markets and then select the perfect one. The outfits for all the functions should be selected carefully according to the themes and traditions.

Photographer/Videographer Reservations

Now-a-days, everyone loves to be photographed. Bride and groom spend money on their makeover and outfits just for the perfect and fairytale photo shoots on their big day. It is important to book a photographer and videographer according to the budget. Decide the location for an outdoor and indoor shoots 👫

Shopping

It starts before one year and ends before one day of the wedding. There are many things to buy which includes Jewellery, family’s outfits, shoes, makeup kits, bags, clothes, gifts, and most importantly dowry for a traditional wedding.

Dance Practice

Make a playlist and start dance practice for the mehendi. It starts before three to four months of wedding. Friends and cousins come to your place on every weekend for the practice.

Wedding Necessities Shopping

These are the small things like mehendi trays, Glass for Doodh Pilayli, flowers, Sweets, Dhol, Uptan, Candles and colorful dupatas for dances and entrance.

Finalizing and Payments

Before one month to the wedding, everything should be finalized. The fitting and sizes for the dresses should be checked. The dowry should be sent to groom’s home for room setting. All the payments to the dress designer should be cleared. Put the money in different envelopes for the different persons like photographers, event planners and catering persons.

Before one day, take a bag and put necessary make up and accessories for the wedding and Susral. 💑

Spend Quality Time

With all the stress and burden of wedding, you need to spend quality time with your family. Read and apply beauty tips and, sleep properly before wedding.😍

A Traditional Desi Wedding

Desi Pakistani weddings are filled with joy and celebrations.  It is full of traditions and rituals. The desi people of Pakistan become excited before a month or two from the actual date of wedding ceremony. Everyone decides their outfits for each of the wedding functions as a Pakistani wedding is comprised of many traditions.

Before Indo-Pak partition, Muslims and Hindus lived together. Similarly, they shared same Traditions. In a desi Pakistani wedding, some pre-wedding traditions are same as Indian traditions. Islamic traditions have their importance in a desi wedding along with cultural traditions. 

Engagement

Engagement means MANGNI in Urdu language. On this day, only close friends and family members are invited. In this pre-wedding traditional ceremony, the Bride-to-be and the groom-to-be exchange rings and, get prayers from all the elder members of their families. This ceremony can be small or large, depends on the number of guests invited in it.

Dholki

Dholki is the most entertaining pre-wedding tradition of a desi wedding in Pakistan. Some close friends and family members beat the drum and sing songs at Bride’s or Groom’s home to celebrate this ritual. Mostly, the bride and groom wear traditional yellow or white clothes in it and, without Dholkis desi weddings are incomplete. 

Mayun

In a desi wedding, Mayun is an excuse of get together to celebrate the wedding. It’s a traditional function in which female takes part in dancing and singing. Groom’s family brings the paste of herbs, turmeric and oils for the bride for her beautification before wedding. After Mayun, Groom and bride are not allowed to meet. Bride wears Gana and, she cannot leave her house after this traditional function.

Nikkah

Nikkah is the most important part of a Pakistani Desi wedding because it is a part of Islam. In this ceremony, Qazi recite verses of Holy Quran and, the fathers of bride and groom becomes witness to the nikkah and decides Haq Meher. After that, the bride and groom sign the Nikkah Nama and say Qubool Hai for three times. It is considered as an eternal commitment between the couple. Groom’s family distributes Bidh to the guests and relatives after nikkah.

Rasm-e-Henna

Rasm-e-Henna (Mehendi) is another tradition which is considered as a biggest event of the desi wedding. On this night, the Cone Mehendi is applied to the bride’s hand and feet. Guests enjoy this night because, it contains dances.

The leaf is placed on bride’s and groom’s hand where the guests apply some mehendi. They have to eat many sweets on this night. Most of the times, bride and groom celebrate mehendi night together.

Barat

Barat is the official ceremony in desi weddings arranged by the bride’s family. It is the most emotional night for the bride and her family. The groom comes with his family and friends to take bride with him. The bride’s family throws rose petals on the groom and his family and give them garlands. 

In desi weddings, bride mostly wears Red Lehenga with heavy makeover and Jura Hair style. Groom wears Sherwaani and Sehra. Desi Food is served to all the guests in the wedding.

Walima

In desi weddings, it the last traditional reception hosted by the groom’s family to give a feast to bride’s family and other relatives. It is also important due to Islamic point of view. The dress of the bride is selected by groom’s family for this night. 

During Walima, Bride and groom chat with the guests and relatives and enjoy the last official function of their desi wedding.

Chauthi

This tradition is a part of desi Pakistani wedding which is also a part of Hindu culture. The bride leaves to her parent’s home on walima night and, in laws brings her back on the next day which is called Chauthi or Makhlawa. The dinner or lunch is served to the groom’s family.

After Chauthi, relative and friends arrange Dawats/dinners in the honor of bride and groom due to which they feel special. 

😊